November 25, 2010

one of those conversations

me: So, do you think Indians are more likeable or PRCs, since you've been to Shanghai and India?
em: City-wise, I like Shanghai but I think the Indians are much nicer people. They are really, really, very nice... very sincere and polite.
me: Oh ya?
em: Ya, I think that they are just a misunderstood lot of people... and they also misunderstand others.
me: How do you know that?
em: Of course they misunderstand people! Everytime I asked for chicken sandwich, they bought me chicken pizza. If that's not misunderstanding, then what?
me: (lol)

me: You mean, they gave you chicken pizza instead of chicken sandwich?
em: Ya. I said that I wanted chicken sandwich. They came back with Pizza Hut chicken pizza. I asked them, 'Chicken sandwich?' They pointed to the chicken pizza and nod their head, 'Chicken sandwich.'
me: (lol)

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:33

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November 19, 2010

Gone 1,801 miles and more to come

The first time when Emman and I had to sort of 'separate' was when I went for a 15 days holiday to Germany and Switz with my mum. It was a little bit of separation anxiety on my part (and alot on his part), a little apprehensiveness at the airport (on my part) and then, quite a bit of tears in the first 2 days in Deutschland, trying to figure out the Metro and getting to hotels. I heard, later, that he lived a life of a half zombie in that 15 days and splurged on a semi-SLR camera as a distraction. That trip was what gave myself the last affirmation that it was time to move on to a new, long-term (full-time) relationship. After all, we took exclusive place in each other's mind that 15 days. It was not very tough, but it was enough to tell. That was in November, 2008.


Following that, the times he had to go through the Immigration without me were when he made his annual trips back home (tho he himself is not sure where is 'home' these days) to Jakarta every June or July. It was easier - the packing, trips to the airport, the long-distance calling/smsing and the trips from airport back home (the Sg home).


Those times, I wondered if I'd actually re-live that 15 days in Europe. As a matter of fact, I knew I won't. Simply because it's easier to be the one who stays, then the one who had to leave. In my opinion, at least, there are always plenty of distractions, preoccupations, obligations to keep the mind occupied in the home country. However, things seem about to change, if only just ever so slightly.


This year, when he went back to Jakarta, it was not a case of teary goodbyes too. Pretty much nonchalance, or was it complacence? In any case, we didn't have to break out hearts, miles apart. The change, nevertheless, was in a feeling. A feeling of incompleteness. A feeling of not having someone close-by to call and meet at the end of the day. A feeling of not being able to take for granted that my boyfriend is just a call away, or a MRT station away.

Today is 19 November, 2010. Emman's away in Chennai, living a (work)life 2.5hours behind mine. He will be back home (where I am) next Tuesday. I have the same feeling again. The feeling of incompleteness, and perhaps just a little unease and insecurity. No, I am not missing him very badly, if that's an indicator of any sort. I'm just feeling a little empty, or is it lonely, that he's not around here. Though I know he's still very much contactable and within reach, figuratively.

And it's all good, it's all okay. 'Cos as I said, the one in the home country will always have more than enough distractions. I'm going to watch a movie by myself. A German film. It's been a long time since I last watched a movie alone. I'm looking forward to it, a me-time tonight.

Happy 2-years-old in our journey together, Dardee! Take care, be safe and have an incredibly Indian weekend!

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:54

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November 08, 2010

Breathing deep and slow

Em and I went to Shanghai and back more than 2 weeks ago. It was a good trip, a wonderful holiday, a meaningful getaway.

But since I've been back, I have found myself to be swamped with things to do and things to catch up on. Of course, work (quite packed now) to resume. So, I find myself only sitting down now to post this, and this is only after cutting out some materials that I'm gonna spend an hour or so pasting tomorrow evening.

xxx

I went for my first run about 1 week ago. The Great Eastern Women's Run. I was in it for the 5km Fun Run. Not fun at all.

Let me elaborate. Just a little. The run itself was alright. I even did better than my own expectation. 5km completed, without stopping, in 40mins. That's really not too bad, considering I haven't really trained for it. The ugly bit came later when I discovered something waiting to pour out of my mouth, from my gut, like the old stinky Merlion. I was super nauseous for the whole day!

Dehydration. That's the name. Took me almost 2 days to recover from that, and then another 4 days to nurse my tummy and appetite back.

Not too fun, I guess.

xxx

Last weekend was Soft Rock weekend. Again. One song. The Verve. The drugs don't work.

It was in JRC days that this song accompanied me plenty on the MRT rides. I'd blast it loud to get my depressed mood even more depressed. Somehow, there was something shiok in doing that.

So, when I heard that song again last Sat, over the airwaves, I kind of missed those MRT rides and the feeling of being so alone when I can sniff the perfume of the person standing beside. Ahhh... loved my ride.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:33

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